Searching, Finding, Being

Until now, I believe in God or Supreme Being, if you want to say so. As for religion, I am skeptical. Some would say by doing the rituals and being close to God, my mind would calm. It never works that way. Instead of making this brain calm, it’s only making it more restless.

I’ve discussed it with my seniors, and they said I have to find my own God. Religion can be anything, it doesn’t have to be the regular belief system we have today. Rituals can be anything, as long as it makes me feel closer to God, it doesn’t have to be those that I’ve been taught. They encouraged me to see, to find, and to be. One of them even said to me, being restless is good. That means something is wrong and need to be examined.

It doesn’t matter whether I believe in God or no, have a belief system or no, as long as I keep searching. That’s what I thought and those seniors agree to that. So I’m searching, very slowly. Perhaps I find what I look for, perhaps not. It never hurts to take this path.

So, the reason I write this entry is to tell you that I thank you for the religious’ rituals suggestion you gave, but I will choose my own rituals to help calm my mind and control my mood swings.


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